Best David Beckham Men's Fragrances

Can you smell the stench? – This stuff should carry a health warning on the front, back and sides of The Bottle, because it smells disgusting! then again, that's only to be expected from a person with his track record!

Smells like a certain Hotel Lounge area in Fortitude Valley on one of their renoun Drag Queen Pageant Nights! – Purchased at chemist warehouse, Townsville on wed 30 jan 2019. I purchased David Beckhams Instinct Au De "Toilet" 75ml for about $50 from chemist… Read more

warehouse in Townsville only because of all the media hype surrounding his name thinking he must have a somewhat exemplary reputation of sorts. Well, after one use "Eau de toilet" went back to its maker and it took 3 flushes to get rid of the odourous stench!

I also made the mistake of purchasing the 'Instinct' brand underarm spray concoction from chemist warehouse in Townsville a day later thinking it must be better than his bottled accomplice. (photo attached).

I often wondered what was behind all this media razz-a-matazz hype of "Bending it with Beckham". I sure as hell know now!

After using his Instinct I can shout from the rooftops that I too "Bent it with Beckham"!! After that "FRAGRANT" assault, my nostrils will never feel "STRAIGHT" again!

David Beckham wears these?? ...... Really!!! If true one would smell him coming at 100 paces, and my "Instinct" would tell my twiddle butt to boogie on out of there - pronto!

This products pong is best described as a cross between a Kings Cross ladies public convenience in peak hour during a blistering summer heat wave, and, and, and, the fragrance counter at a $2.00 reject shop, and, and, stale urinal tablets! And the underarm spray gunk makes flies drop dead where they fly at just the slightest whiff!! Really!! (try it and see). (and I'm being ever so refined in my description here).

And,

Gosh, I dont even want to begin to imagine what this footballer's change rooms would smell like if he along with all his team mates wore this concoction before a game (And moreso AFTER)! I'm not even going THERE ok!!!!!!

MEN, If you want some right pompous pong for your buck, try unisex opium eau de parfum spray 90ml by Yves Saint Laurent for $200.00. Well worth the couple of extra bucks and a more masculine (new age) pong-a-la-pong that wont "bend" your nostrils! (photo attached) (well tried to attach, only allows one photo).

The matching Beckham "Instinct" underarm spray concoction costs $6.00, and will probably go on sale at $2.00 reject shops in the very near future, or end up being sold under a different label as an alternative to mace spray for the ladies, cause it does bring tears to the eyes!! Well, I can tell you it certainly made god cry! And he cried and cried and cried, (then he cried some more)! For seven days and seven nights cried God over townsville, and yay, it started on the day I first bought and used this gunk. Really!! - honest to God it did!! Other people reviewing this Instinct pong on here are right, it lasts for ages, and is FAR REACHING! OBVIOUSLY TOO FAR REACHING!

It would have been more appropriate for Coty to use the endorsement of famous pianist Liberace and name it "Off key", Or, Hugo Weaving (of Priscilla) and called it "Spank my butt and call me Charlene"!!

In future one will be weary buying any product endor$ed by any $oul $elling celebrity. In fairness to Coty, some people would probably take to this like a lame duck to water, it just did not meet my expectations (or Gods) given all the media hype surrounding Beckham and all.

In short, if you want to be a Beautiful man "ducky", Beckham's instinct is right up your alley.

Peter Townsville